beloved Judas

I feel now
As you felt that night
In Gethsemene
When Judas kissed thy cheek
Now I understand
How one you love
Could harm you so much more than ever your enemy
Tears stream down my face
In painful understanding
How it hurts to see the face
Of beloved Judas
I see him every night
And every day
When all is standing still
The days are beautiful
And the nights reveal more
Than I ever wished to know about myself
I wonder
Did you ever regret
Beloved Judas

O beloved Judas!
My heart
It weeps with pain
Pain and understanding
That maybe this was all a game
That I was nothing more than a momentary plaything
And when I got lost you did not search for me
Nor did you mourn my loss
Sweet beloved Judas
My heart still beats your name
The very same

Dear Sweet Jesus
Hold me in thy arms
Never let me go
My sweet Savior
Save me from this pain
Show me all thy scars
Of wounds inflicted
By beloved Judas

Why dost thou weep, my child?
I hold thee in my hand
No man can snatch thee
For I command the earth to do my bidding
I AM Messiah and Savior
Rabbi and Son Of Man
I still love beloved Judas
And have forgiven all of man

My beloved Judas
What pain I feel
When I utter your name
Why just a plaything?
Why just a name?
I hoped for more than just a wish
I prayed for more than all of this
And now instead of joy
You gave me crisis
My beloved Judas